hate

I hate the person that i have come
today standing here i feel like i don't even know myself
i can no longer run i can no longer hide i have no where to go
i can't do it for me anymore i don't no how
someone plz help me i don't understand

directions

Dazed and amazed with no place to go
which direction to turn which direction to go
missin some peeps no one around
the sounds and sights from here and there
wishin and wishin that he was here
just one moment enough to see
what he thinks that i shall be
just one moment is all it would take
tears and tears and the way my heart aches
no one understand me no one ever will
if they could just see how much i hold in side climbin the hill
how much anger how much hate how evil my soul really feels
I try so hard to hide the way my inside feels
some days i can, some are no goes
lately my days are highs and lows

Changes

i am pushed,
i am pulled.
which way do i go
i am stuck between both what do i do
what do i say i don't want people angry at me
i don't want to be the one people are mad at
why do i care so much
why do i keep shoving
why do i take the lies cover there asses
why do i have to be me i want to be different
but i don't know how
what do i do how can i change
just to improve my self
just for me

just missin some peeps

Missin the people that mean so much to me,
to be able to see, talk, listen,
to them one last time,
would mean the world to me!
how do i go on
when i lost one of my best friends
the person that always listened,
was never affraid to voice there oppion,
and tell you how it is
the person you didnt have to strive just for there approval
how and what is the best way to deal with that
explain to me why the person that loves so many is no longer here on earth
but the person that hates so many is still breathing.
in one way i am jelious why not me
but on the other why should i be so lucky to meet god at the golden gates
what have i done so far in my life to deserve it
i try and try to strive just by a long shot that when my time comes
i hope i was able to make him smile for things that i have done in my life.
am i winning the strugle or am i just starting.
for this being my resting place for now it sure is not a restful place
i am wore out, depressed ,stressed
and for why, why should i give them the "HUMANS" the satisfaction of fuckin me over. you don't and that is why i fight so hard each and every day.

Me time

stressing and messing where to go next
wineing and dinning tring my best
work home and chilling with a friend
it is a never ending trend
no time to eat nor time to sleep
when is it me time when will it be
tapping typing
and listening to music
chilling wheeling doing my deeds
my head is a race with no where to speed
till the days end
i need time to mend
in calmness relaxation
and peace.

Shove

Just chillin and dealling with what ever i can don't know which way to run nor direction to fall i run to the left trying to excape then i ran torward the right tring to lose my self then find my self again excaping is what i need to do but how? Everytime i find my self pushing, pulling forward i get shoved back even more then i find my self in a friend of need and shove and shove till i can't shove no more and stop! I'm done